Sick at home and trying to entertain myself

I know it has been forever since I posted anything on here. I am at home sick and bored so this is what I chose to do. Mark just sent me a text to cheer me up. He can be so sweet sometimes... sometimes. :) He can also be really gross and inappropriate. lol. It seems like lately he's been more inappropriate than sweet. Sometimes I feel like we have been married for years. He doesnt like it when I say the "M" word. He says he's going to ask me eventually (by the end of this year) and he wants it to be a surprise. I havent brought it up in a while because it usually starts a fight. I dont know why I feel the need to bring it up. We havent even made it to a year yet. I guess I never wanted to get married before when I dated all of those other losers so when it hit me with him I just couldnt let it go. If you know me at all you know that it is not easy for me to commit to someone. I have never taken a relationship seriously before Mark. The problem is, Mark didnt know me before we started dating so he doesnt see that a HUGE differencc he has made in me. I guess time will tell. Just so yall know... if I dont have a ring on my finger by December this will be a very different post.... with more cuss words. :P
Anyways, new subject. I have been soul searching a lot lately. I want to do something amazing with my life and I cant figure out what that is. I know that I am not cut out for a boring 9 to 5. I see all of these people going out and living their dreams and I just dont see why I cant do it too. The problem is, I have no idea what my dream is. I need to go back to school. I just dont know what for. lol. Yeah, I know, Im a mess. I do know that when I have kids I want to be a full time mom until they go to school. I just think kids are better off when they are raised by their parents instead of daycare. I want to be there for all of the firsts. But anyways... thats a while away. (see first paragraph HA!)
So this is what is on my mind this morning. I will try to keep up with this thing and write more often.

xo,
Althea